If you are the (un)fortunate parent of a tweenage girl or your wife happens to have suspicious tastes in music then the announcement that Britain’s biggest boy band since the last boy band 1Direction are coming to South Africa will have resulted in high pitched screams of joy, excitement and euphoria at the prospect of breathing the same air as Harry Stiles will have rendered you temporarily deaf. It will of course also result in the pit of despair that you will be thrown in when you realise that you will be the unlucky chaperone.
But at least you can count yourself lucky that it’s not a Miley Cyrus concert that you will be dragged off to see. And your dad points will be through the roof which means that when it comes time to stick you in Shady Pines you can pull the 1D concert card and she’ll have to let you live with her a peep on her sofa. You could always put a positive spin on the evening and see it as a father
daughter bonding experience before she gets to the age where your very existence is an embarrassment to her but don’t worry that stage does pass and you will be able to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day without cowering in terror – well a different kind of terror. Of course you could just ask mum if she can take your daughter to the concert.
As for your wife being excited over 1Direction we’re afraid there’s nothing we can do for you there as she is old enough to know better and in some instances it’s better to simply duck, cover and retreat in to your man cave or go away with the guys for a golfing weekend out in the bush.
Do whatever you need to do to get away from the screaming girls as they primp and preen and dream of a life with Harry Smiles or whatever his name is.
Think about it, mum and daughter (or son) can have a wonderful bonding experience with 1million other screaming fans and you can sit back, put your feet up and watch wrestling, rugby and Terms of Endearments in your underpants for one evening you don’t have to sit through project runways, strictly come dancing or Ru Pauls Drag Race.
For one whole evening you can through banting out the window and enjoy chocolates, pizza, beer and popcorn; you can leave the toilet seat up and you can burp and fart as loud as you want.
You could even get together with the guys go out for a great steak dinner, smoke cigars and drink whiskey. There are so many things that you could do with a night of freedom from the trouble and strife and the dustbin lids you just need to make sure it’s worth it and you spent your time wisely. Otherwise you might as well have booked yourself a ticket and stood in the cold with 2 million screaming teenage girls.